I am seriously thinking of creating a special section for Guardian political sketch writer John Crace, for his outstanding, unrelenting, incisive and fearless disassembling, and some might say verbal dismembering, of our beloved politicians.
One worries for Crace. If ever those who he rightly eviscerates for their dishonesty, callousness, incompetence and downright stupidity manage to seize power under some authoritarian pretext (no longer unimaginable in the so-called liberal democracies currently crawling with far right demagogues), he will be in danger.
These people do not have thick skins, and despite being every bit as dull and dimwitted as Crace portrays them, nonetheless remember the important things, such as who called them names and rubbished their halfwit policies. No one can doubt for a moment that the execrable Donald Trump would fill the streets with dangling corpses should he bamboozle another term in office as US President. His own vice president, Mike Pence, came close to being lynched during the attempted January 6th coup in 2020, and that was for simply refusing to endorse Trump’s lie that the election was stolen. He didn’t even call Trump a smelly bastard or dickhead.
Which, speaking of odors, brings me to the inspiration for this quick post. Thing is, Crace is a genius. If it’s just for his Nobel Prize-winning nickname (do they have a Nobel prize for best nicknamer?) for Chris Philp, minister and Chief Secretary to the Treasury. I know of Philp only because Crace makes fun of him, aptly calling him the “Nose in Search of a Bum” for his love of pleasing (or is that pleasuring?) people and letting them treat him like shit.
Indeed, Philp seems at his best when wheeled out to lap up the flak whenever it hits the fan, loyally shielding the culprits responsible for the latest clusterfuck (most recently the sinking of the economy). As Crace writes of “Librium” Liz’s second Prime Minister’s Questions, when she could not get away quick enough after the humiliation of being harangued by the Opposition (even by the damp Labour dud Kier Starmer, generally not noted for being a sprite wit):
“Truss left the chamber to cries of “more” from Labour and widespread indifference from her own side. That was the closest to enthusiasm the Tory benches could manage. She left behind the creepy Chris Philp – the Nose in Search of a Bum – to answer an urgent question on why the economy was even worse on Wednesday than it had been on Tuesday.”
So whilst Librium Liz (acbC* Radon Liz) and her fellow budget assassin “Kamikwasi” Kwarteng run for the hills, the Nose in Search of a Bum gets high lapping it all up.
* acbC: as christened by Crace
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